Violence and harassment

Violence is one of the topics we all avoid because it raises a lot of question marks, fears and generally we don't want to think about things that threaten us in some way. Sadly, hundreds of children suffer different forms of violence every year, which often remain hidden because they are not talked about enough.

Mental violence is one of the most common forms, and very often it is not even perceived as violence. It is expressed in verbal threats, insults, unjustified criticism, words that violate personal dignity, malicious manipulation and other verbal actions that evoke feelings of fear, guilt, shame, loneliness and powerlessness. Very often, psychological violence goes unrecognised by others because it does not leave physical scars or other material and visible consequences, but only an imprint on the victim's inner world.

Physical violence is perhaps the most recognizable form of violence, but that does not make it any less disturbing and elements of it are often seen as the norm of behaviour and attitudes. It is violence that is intended to physically harm the victim, by striking with the hand or objects, kicking, plucking, pinching, restricting the physical freedom of the body and other actions that threaten the integrity of the body in some way, leave visible scars and short-term marks and evoke feelings of pain, fear, bitterness, shame, helplessness, anger.

Sexual violence is the worst form of aggression against someone. Any form of sexual violence is a crime under the law! It's when someone you know or a stranger, an adult or a peer: makes sexual innuendos, comments and name-calling that make us feel ashamed, uncomfortable, cause anxiety and fear. Insists on watching and/or filming pornographic pictures and movies. Seeks physical intimacy that makes you feel embarrassed, pressured, ashamed, confused. When he touches you or demands that you touch him on body parts that you find intimate, and this causes feelings of panic, fear, disgust, guilt, shame, confusion. When someone, against your will and regardless of your resistance, insists on and takes action towards intimate touching, rubbing and penetration with body parts or other objects, towards your private sexual organs and other parts of your body. Very often in victims of sexual violence, because of the great shock and horror of the experience, we observe behavioural abrupt changes, expressed in sudden closure, refusal to communicate, it seems to us that the person wanders in his thoughts, does not see us, does not hear us. Often clothing is replaced with wider and baggier clothing to conceal the body or is replaced with very skimpy, provocative clothing (it is important to note that clothing in itself is not a symptom that someone is being harmed. It is a factor when the change is sudden "from today to tomorrow" and there is no explanation or reason for it). There may be risky actions such as sudden systematic use of alcohol, cigarettes or other psychoactive substances, as well as self-harm, running away from school or home, provocative attitudes towards others, deviant behaviour. Whatever the change, it is in response to something that has happened that has left a strong emotional imprint that the victim has difficulty coping with.

School bullying is a specific type of violence that is characterised by the fact that it takes place between children, usually in the presence of other peers and in the absence of adults. It consists of acts intended to physically hurt, offend, intimidate, humiliate or degrade a child or group of children. You must be wondering why some children bully? The reasons may be different - to feel powerful, to stand out to others or because they have been bullied themselves. Whatever the reason, if someone is bullying you, it is serious and can have severe consequences on your self-esteem, provoke aggression in you or lead you to depression and social isolation. The first and most important rule is not to fight back. On the contrary, ignore the behaviour and avoid contact with those who harass you. Also ask your friends to ignore the rudeness and move in a group. When you are in a bullying situation, control your emotions. Try to keep your face expressionless - don't show fear, anger or resentment - just turn the other way and brush the bully aside. Go somewhere where there are other people, preferably adults. Don't be alone! You wonder why? Aggressors do exactly that - provoke you. If you lose self-control, you fuel their behavior and it will likely continue and even escalate. When you show that their methods are not working, they will lose interest and find another victim. If the bullying does continue, don't try to handle it alone. Teachers, parents, close friends - everyone needs to know what is going on. Share it with them without shame or fear that it might make the situation worse. They are the ones who can help and stop the bullying, both of you and possibly of other peers.

Online harassment or violence. Cyberbullying is characterised by taking place in digital environments - social networks, gaming platforms, messaging platforms and mobile phones. It consists of posting and sending abusive, threatening or taunting text messages, pictures or recordings, spreading unreliable information, identity theft, etc., with the aim of intimidating, humiliating and undermining the dignity of the child who is the victim of this type of violence or bullying. To help yourself, show the bullies that their behaviour is unacceptable. Block them and make a formal report to the platform where the bullying is happening. You need to gather evidence - take screenshots of the posts, messages or photos that are bothering you. Remember that everyone deserves respect, both in real life and online - pay attention to how you yourself treat others when you communicate online.

If you recognize yourself or someone you know in any of these situations or experiences, seek help! Don't delay! You need help to stop the violence. Contact a trusted adult, school psychologist, social worker or other professional immediately.

IN IMMEDIATE DANGER, CONTACT THE POLICE DIRECTLY ON 112.

Contact the NATIONAL TELEPHONE LINE FOR CHILDREN by dialling 116 111. Don't delay! We will listen and support you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

You can contact the National Anti-Trafficking Helpline on 0800 20 100!