Relationships and relationships

Friendship is one of the most significant bonds in human life, and during the school years the need for it is most acute.

Some people are more sociable and make friends easily. Others are more shy and withdrawn, find it harder to initiate social contacts and, consequently, communicate with a more limited range of people. However, friendship is not measured in quantity and those who are surrounded by many people do not always have true friends. We speak of true friendship when our relationships are based on mutual sympathy, understanding, help and support. When we trust and are loyal to each other.

Friendship doesn't happen in a day. It is a long process in which two people get to know each other, find common interests, share ideas and respect their differences. The path of friendship is littered with many memorable moments and peripettes where you laugh and cry together, share your secrets, get into trouble, look for solutions, fight and then get along. Each friendship is unique in itself and each of the people we communicate with has a different and irreplaceable role in our lives. So value your friends and treat them as you expect them to do to you.

If you find it hard to make friends and feel lonely, misunderstood or rejected, contact the NATIONAL TELEPHONE LINE FOR CHILDREN by dialling 116 111. We will listen and support you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Friends have a strong influence on our experiences, how we perceive ourselves, how we behave, what we believe and how we understand the world around us. So our choice of friend environment is extremely important!

It is normal when people spend a long time with each other to start emulating each other. If you've paid attention, friends often dress similarly, like the same music, use the same expressions, and generally behave the same. This is due to the influence we have on each other with the people we interact with. We talk about social pressure when we do things that we would not do otherwise. We do it to feel accepted, liked and valued by the people we want to be friends with. Peer pressure is not always a bad thing. Sometimes it helps us to try and discover new things, like that skateboarding isn't that hard, or that board games aren't actually that boring, to overcome some of our fears and become more confident in ourselves. But the influence of our friends can also be negative, pushing us towards behaviours and choices that are bad for us - like smoking and running away from school. In order to cope with social pressure, you need to find the balance between being yourself and fitting in with your friends. Learning to say no to things you don't like and that can harm you, even if your friends react to it with ridicule or rejection. This will not only help you choose your friends correctly, but also learn to make conscious choices, stand up for yourself and set boundaries in your relationships with others that will benefit you throughout your life.

If you feel that your friends have a harmful influence over you, talk to an adult you can trust - a teacher, parent or psychologist.

You can also contact the NATIONAL TELEPHONE LINE FOR CHILDREN by dialling 116 111. We will listen and support you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Adolescence is the period during which most children experience their first love thrills and tremors. This is the time when adolescents begin to take more care of their appearance, prefer mixed company and search hard for approval from their peers. What will we talk about? What if I get turned down? What will he think of me?... They have yet to learn how to attract attention, express sympathy and communicate with the object of their affections.

In adolescence, falling in love is a particularly jarring and memorable experience. Your lover captures your mind and heart, you desire his presence constantly and in any form, you idealise him and are ready to make any sacrifice for him. It seems to you that your love is so true and perfect that it will last forever.

In reality, however, in this period feelings are unstable, perishable and often bringing disappointments. It is perfectly normal for the first love not to coincide with the last, as the loving suffering that often accompanies the end of a relationship is transitory. Subsequent infatuations await you, each of which will be different from the previous ones and yet every bit as emotional.

If you need to talk to someone about your first encounters with love, contact the NATIONAL CHILDREN'S PHONE LINE by dialling 116 111. We will listen and support you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Love infatuations and relationships are almost always accompanied by experiences of mistrust. Jealousy is a condition associated with feelings of possessiveness, insecurity and fear. In the context of love relationships, jealousy can manifest itself in relation to someone we like, someone we are in a relationship with and even someone with whom we have already ended the relationship. At its core is our desire to feel important, special, valued and loved. When we feel threatened or neglected, our fear that we will lose our place that we have previously held gives rise to jealousy. We can be jealous of literally anyone and anything that we see as superior or threatening - from a real rival, to our friends, our hobby, and even the pet of the person we are in love with. Jealousy is accompanied by a tremendous loss of energy and excruciating mental anguish. The lack of skills to deal with this emotion brings a lot of negativity to the relationship between two people, and sometimes leads to violent acts.

If you are tormented by jealousy, the first thing you need to do for yourself is not to blame yourself for your feelings. Jealousy is a normal feeling, closely related to our instinct for preservation, our need to belong and be belonged to. It's important to think about it and to actually be aware of what provokes this feeling in you - what exactly are you afraid of, how justified is the threat you feel, is the distrust in yourself, are your expectations of the other person too high and how would you feel in the opposite situation. Answering these questions will help you realize that in order to expect to be special to others, you must first be special to yourself, love yourself with all your flaws, and value yourself for all your unique qualities and traits that make you different from others.

It is important to understand that healthy and lasting relationships are based on voluntariness, reciprocity and respect for each other's right to personal freedom and choice. No one can take away something that belongs to you, nor can you hold someone by force. Scenes of jealousy, restrictions and threats do not protect you from disappointments and cannot bring back lost love. So enjoy it while you have it, and when it's gone, accept that it's for the best and that something more exciting and real is in store for you.

If your love experiences are accompanied by feelings of doubt, jealousy or fear, don't hesitate to contact the NATIONAL CHILDREN'S PHONE LINE by dialling 116 111. We will listen and support you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

In our daily lives we interact with different people - parents, teachers, peers, people we know well and those we have only just met. If you've been paying attention, the emotional and physical distance you keep with others depends on how long and how well you know them, the situation you're in, and the nature of the relationships you have.

For example, you feel tense and careful what information you share with someone who has just spoken to you at the same time you are natural and relaxed in your communication with those with whom you have multiple encounters behind you. And this is normal!

However, some people find it difficult to trust and allow even people they have known well and for a long time. In their usual surroundings, they are often silent or avoid talking about themselves. They are reticent about their emotions and it is hard to know what they are really thinking and feeling. Others confide too easily. On the first meeting they will readily tell you all the details of their lives, invite you into their home or accompany you to a place they don't know.

To some extent, this is also normal and is due to the peculiarities of character, the way of communication in the family and the level of communication skills. Sometimes, however, it is a barrier to maintaining healthy relationships with others.

If you're having trouble building trust and intimacy, or if you let others in too easily, we can help you find the balance.

Contact the NATIONAL TELEPHONE LINE FOR CHILDREN by dialling 116 111. We will listen and support you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Betrayal begins with trust! There's no way we can be let down by someone with whom we haven't previously developed intimacy. Betrayal always comes from the people we've let in and trusted. That is why it is such a painful experience.

When someone betrays your trust it is normal to feel shocked, cheated, angry, sad and broken. Your faith in trust between people may be seriously shaken and you may wonder if you can trust someone again. You feel that you will never forgive the person who committed the betrayal and you begin to doubt their sincerity towards you in general. You probably despise him for what he did and wish you had never let him into your life...

These are normal reactions when one is affected by betrayal. But don't rush to strong words and final decisions - give yourself time. Think about what led to the situation and look at it carefully from all sides. You may find an explanation for what you did and even something that caused it. Give the person who betrayed you a chance to defend their position - it may just be a misunderstanding. Share what happened with someone close to you and hear their point of view. Listen to your inner voice too!

Often betrayal breaks the bond between people and leaves bitterness in their hearts. Sometimes it is the right thing to do, especially when betrayal happens once again. But if the person who betrayed you is genuinely remorseful when your relationship with them is meaningful to you, give them a chance to make amends and possibly earn your trust again.

To forgive betrayal is difficult, but not impossible. Everyone sometimes makes mistakes and hurts the feelings of those they love. With mutual willingness, effort and patience, the closeness and trust between you can be restored.

Whether you are in the position of the betrayed or the betrayer, we can support you.

Contact the NATIONAL TELEPHONE LINE FOR CHILDREN by dialling 116 111. Trust us! We will listen to you and help you reach the right decision for you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Have you ever felt that someone is taking advantage of you, that they are imposing their opinion on you, or that they are involving you in things that you don't like? For example, your classmate who demands to copy homework from you, your boyfriend who insists that you only be friends with him, or the object of your affections who expects physical intimacy that you're not ready for yet. If the answer is yes, you may have a problem setting and asserting your personal boundaries.

Personal boundaries are an imaginary line we use to separate ourselves from others. This line delineates our individuality and our personal comfort zone. It shows others we interact with what is acceptable to us and what is not. Personal boundaries can be both physical and emotional. The physical concerns how much we allow someone near our body, and the emotional concerns how we assert our personal desires, feelings, thoughts and beliefs.

Very often, in our quest to gain approval, not disappoint someone or avoid conflict, we neglect ourselves. In doing so, we allow others to step outside our personal boundaries and not only disrupt our comfort, but we become vulnerable to harmful influences and intrusions that threaten our health and safety.

Setting personal boundaries is an extremely important element of any relationship you have built or will build in the future. They help you show your positions, your principles and how you demand others behave towards you. In other words, you set the rules of communication.

Personal boundaries start with getting to know yourself, who you are, what you like and dislike, how you want others to treat you, and which of their actions or attitudes you find unpleasant. Be aware of your wants and needs and don't let others make decisions about what is right or good for you. Don't compromise on things that make you feel uncomfortable - emotionally or physically.

To protect your personal boundaries from invasions, make a habit of listening to yourself, learn to say no and overcome your fear of rejection. End a conversation that makes you uncomfortable, walk away from a place where you don't feel safe, refuse to do something that makes you uncomfortable. Yes, you may disappoint someone in the moment, distance them and even turn them against you, but in doing so you will stay true to yourself and surround yourself with people who accept your differences, consider your individual needs, respect your opinions, your interests and your right to make your own decisions.

Conversely, respect the personal boundaries of others. When you hear "no" from someone else, accept it and don't push. Show understanding and together seek the space where you feel mutually comfortable.

If setting personal boundaries or respecting those of others makes you feel uncomfortable, contact the NATIONAL TELEPHONE LINE FOR CHILDREN by dialling 116 111. We will listen and support you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

We know that when people reach a certain age, they start a family. Together with the chosen one of their hearts, they come together under one roof, have children and, with the right circumstances, live happily ever after. Sometimes, in our teens, we meet someone we fall hard for. We feel that this is our mate and the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. He shares our feelings and together we begin to dream of having our own home and family. Yes, it's still early - we haven't finished school, we don't have our own income, we will have to live with our parents at first, but love doesn't ask. And if we love each other, there's no way we can't make it...

But sometimes we are born into a family where tradition dictates that our parents choose our life companion instead of us, as well as the age at which we should go through the wedding ritual and live together as a family - whether we want to or are ready for it. Going against our parents' wishes in these cases is often associated with a host of negative consequences, from deep shame and humiliation for the entire family to being stigmatized and kicked out of the home. We can't afford it!

However, when you are a child, regardless of which of the two situations described above you are in, it carries many risks for you. In Bulgaria, the right to marry is conditional on both parties reaching the age of majority and entering into it voluntarily. Living with someone as a family when you are still a child is even illegal and can have consequences for both your parents and the person you are living with if they are an adult. And that's no accident! Your age implies that you have not yet reached the maturity necessary to adequately respond to the responsibilities associated with family. No matter how romantic it may seem to you at the moment, in spousal terms, your life will change radically, especially if it is followed by pregnancy and childbirth. This often means ending your education, moving away from your peers and the activities that interest them, parting with your plans to master your dream profession, living in unsatisfactory housing conditions, having a low income, or depending entirely on your parents or the state for financial support. This is certainly not the life you want for yourself, nor for the one you love, much less for the children you could have together.

So think about it! If this is really the person you want to spend your life with - that won't change in a year, two or five. Show patience and use your desire to make a lasting commitment to him as motivation to accomplish all those tasks that you have to do right now that will prepare you for a successful, happy and long-lasting family life.

If you are considering or being pushed by someone else into early cohabitation, contact the NATIONAL CHILDREN'S PHONE LINE by dialling 116 111. We will listen and support you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!