Crises in the family

At some stage in life, difficult situations arise - the presence of health problems in the child's parents or other important people in the family.

The natural reaction of parents is to shield children from this news, but this is not the good way. It's important to help children understand what's going on and prepare them to more easily overcome what's happening with their loved one, as well as the possibly inevitable difficult moments that may arise.

It is important to discuss with your partner how to tell your child the news and consider how it might affect them. This depends on the age of the child. When he or she is younger, he or she may worry that he or she and other family members may get the same illness.

Use simple and clear phrases and be honest when talking about this topic with your child. This doesn't mean you have to tell him or her the smallest detail.

Try to cope with sadness - the child will be watching you as parents for any signs. Explain to them how this will affect their daily life - for example, "Dad is sick. Until he gets better, from tomorrow your grandfather will drive you to school and swimming". Reassure them that everything is under control and that you have thought of and planned everything they need.

Be prepared for any reactions - the child may be angry, angry or sad.

If this topic raises questions in you, you recognise yourself or someone you know who needs support, don't hesitate to contact the NATIONAL CHILDREN'S PHONE LINE by dialling 116 111. Don't delay! We will listen and support you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Each stage of human life has its own characteristic developmental difficulties to overcome. During the period of adolescence, the following can be pointed out:

Identity formation Self-assertion among peers through friendship building or confrontation Adoption of masculine - respectively feminine roles Emergence and determination of motives for future occupational activities The teenager is confronted with many social demands and roles. According to Erikson, this is the period of greatest importance in his understanding of human development.

Identity formation contains the past development of the personality and its upcoming development.

Typical during this period is the high degree of anxiety in teenagers. This is due to both the physical change and the spiritual crisis - the desire to separate from parents and find their identity. It is important for the child to be supported and encouraged by their parents during this period - they need to be present. When a teenager defies his parents' decisions, he asserts himself.

Children at this age expect dialogue as with big people and parents' ignorance of how to respond, neglect and denial of their ideas can lead to distance from the family. For example, a child who sees himself as a guitarist in a rock band or an aviator, and the parents' projection is to be a lawyer like his father is quite possibly looking for a group of friends who recognize him as the kind of person he wants to be. However, this in turn can lead to involvement in criminal activity - for example, participation in sports teams where the child may become the target of violence.

The adolescent expects understanding and then the parents become an authority that would help him in building his own.

The child-adolescent finds his identity when his perception of himself matches the image other people have of him.

If this topic raises questions for you or you are a parent of a teenager, don't hesitate to contact the NATIONAL TELEPHONE LINE FOR CHILDREN by dialling 116 111. Don't delay! We will listen and support you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

When, as parents, you encourage independence in your children, allow them to learn from their mistakes, patiently explain to them that failure is not failure, you help them to gain personal experience. This in turn builds their confidence that they can cope and their self-esteem that they are significant and independent.

You need to be patient and constantly support your child's initiatives to show independence. We would be glad to introduce you to our tips on this topic:

Present him with a choice. This can be, for example, what clothes to wear, which hat he likes better, which toy he will take with him. Be sure to praise him for it Don't waste time teaching your child something Give your child clear messages. For example - Tomorrow is Saturday, we are going to the pool. I expect you to be ready after breakfast with a tidy rucksack containing a swimming costume, swimming goggles and an inflatable ball.

It is important that children have a routine - something to do every day. This can be morning or evening. The regime should be clear - then the child will do everything without any stress. If the child is young and cannot read - draw pictures or use fun stickers to explain what comes next.

It's a good idea to break tasks down into small steps, always motivating and encouraging your child.

Try not to criticise your child, compare them to others or ask them to be more independent It is important to have fair rules - discuss them with your child and always try to follow them Praise your child's behaviour and be enthusiastic

A change of residence is always accompanied by a lot of excitement. In most cases they are pleasant, of course there are reasons why this is necessary.

New home, new school, new friends - what's in store for me? These are the usual questions that arise for children when moving. Due to the fact that children are attached to the familiar, you need to spend more time explaining to them why you are moving. It is a good idea to tell them about the advantages of the new place - nicer rooms, a nice park nearby, a swimming pool, a school, a sports ground or a pizzeria. If it's a house - close to nature, fresh air, a yard, hikes in the mountains.

It is important to have an honest discussion with your child about why this move is necessary.

Show the child the new home by explaining where his room will be, make him sympathetic to some decisions in the home, ask him what wall colour he prefers for his room. Depending on the age of the child, involve him with some moving activities, let him just pack his favourite things that will be present in the new dwelling.

Promise him that he will always meet his friends in the neighborhood whenever possible, and in case the move is to another city together, invite the kids for pizza before you leave.

The separation between parents inevitably affects the child, and although the child does not understand the new situation as adults do, he feels it in a way that is unfamiliar to him. Sometimes, when all options have been exhausted, this is the best way out of a relationship.

As parents, it is important to spare your child the conflict situations that arise between you. In this way, you will build a foundation for him to better adapt to the changes that are happening and that await him.

It is important to talk to the child and, according to his age, explain to him in accessible language and in a sincere way the situation and that he has no fault for what is happening. This must be said clearly and firmly to the child, and the communication must be from the father and mother.

Explain to your child that people separate when there is a lack of love and understanding, and that you have done your best to improve your relationship as parents.

Be open with the child, promise him only what is possible and in case of a change of circumstances inform him promptly. The child should be reassured that his or her parents are still his or her parents, even when they are separated and do not see each other every day.

Demonstrate to the child respect for the other parent. In this way, you are showing respect for the child themselves by not making them feel they are in a position to choose between you and your ex-partner. It would be great for children to have a good image of both parents. Always maintaining a good relationship with your ex-partner is important for the child's future development - you would more easily agree on school choices, sports, travel or time to spend together with the child.

Whenever you are trying to impose your own solution ask questions:

Is this good for the child? How will it affect him? Whatever the reason for separating from your spouse, do not allow the child to be drawn into the conflict. Often, driven by their own selfish motives, parents violate permissible boundaries. If you sense this happening to you, try to look at the situation from the perspective of the child or your spouse.

If this topic raises questions in you, you recognise yourself or someone you know, don't hesitate to contact the NATIONAL TELEPHONE LINE FOR CHILDREN by dialling 116 111. Don't delay! We will listen and support you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Every child experiences a traumatic event differently.

Traumatic events can be physical and psychological and encompass many aspects - abuse, fornication, sexual assault, a child may witness violence in the family or at school, parental separation.

When we talk about a child overcoming trauma, we need to consider that children do not have the resources of an adult to cope. A child may be hurt by an event that an adult might not notice. Excessive parental criticism, emotional neglect, physical discipline combined with critical remarks at school and isolation can trigger emotional and physical reactions in a child. A child's personal emotional reaction to an event and what their interpretation of the event is can turn it into a trauma.

Very often, unexplained child behaviour can be linked to psychological trauma and as parents, if you notice your child behaving unusually, you must ask them what happened. Depending on the age this could be:

feelings of sadness feelings of guilt and shame difficulty speaking feelings of fear for self and loved ones sometimes a difference in the child's play may indicate a traumatic event, the child tries to overcome it and change the outcome through play difficulty concentrating lack of sleep and dreaming nightmares time is needed to communicate with the child, provide a calm and safe environment. In the period of overcoming trauma, any changes are not desirable.

Teenagers are able to discuss their feelings. It is important as a parent to support your child because this gives them confidence that getting help is not some sign of weakness, and that the parent is taking responsibility for their safety.

If symptoms persist for several days, seek consultation with a child psychotherapist or psychiatrist immediately. A therapist can help a child rethink what is happening and timely support can end many negative effects and consequences on his or her future development.

If this topic raises questions in you, you recognise yourself or someone you know, don't hesitate to contact the NATIONAL TELEPHONE LINE FOR CHILDREN by dialling 116 111. Don't delay! We will listen and support you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!